Target Sells Useful Things. Like Immortality.

Me: OMG! Look at this bottle of Excedrin I just bought. It holds as much ten small bottles. They should call it “Mother’s BIG Helper”.

Him: Yeah. Don’t get near it when you’re sad. It looks totally suicidey.

Me: What you call an overdose, I just call a dose.

Him: Agree to disagree.

Me: Wait, this stuff is totally full of caffeine. Instead of dying, you’d just be awake FOREVER.

Him: Which is the opposite of killing yourself.

Me: Stay away from the Excedrin, son. I don’t want you committing anti-suicide.

Him: That’s mean.

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